Fate is a harsh mistress. She marches in, grabs you by the collar, and shouts, “Love me!” And you have no choice but to take that broad into your arms and kiss her.

Okay, maybe not always. Sometimes she saunters in, makes like your best friend, and then, slowly but surely, she vexes and romances you until you are itching with this tingling mix of woe and excitement.

Fate is cruel. Worse than another four-letter F word, only I wouldn’t wish her on anyone. She has this way of turning the world on its head, and the changes make me lose sleep. Worse than the ex who drunk dials you all night long looking to make or break something, she leaves me at peace, only the peace is so disturbing I toss and turn the entire night. My nights with her are like Christmas Eve coinciding with the start of the apocalypse – an intermingling between a joyful sense of wonder and an anxious fear I just can’t shake.

Fate is my drug of choice. She is addictive, a mind and spirit-altering substance where colors become brighter, air is sweeter, and songs are sadder. She is my heroine, her affection my ecstasy, and what I see in those eyes when she looks back at me – my hallucinogenic state. She lifts me higher than those crochet-wearing, bongo-playing, day trippers two days into Woodstock.

But that withdrawal.

There should be facilities named for her abuse. They say addiction is a disease. Even when she is out of my system, and the stomach tremors and puffy eyes have subsided, she is always there in my mind. I don’t see the same. Can’t just look the other way. I’ll always want her. When I see her, I’ll always think about us together. I won’t ever forget that high. Makes me wonder if I’ll ever get a dose of fate like that again.

Fate did me wrong. Fate also did me right. She was the best thing that’s happened in my entire life.


desk work

Tayler Grossman is an English and journalism double major at FAU with minors in German and psychology. She enjoys learning about all forms of writing, as both of her majors require vastly different writing styles. 

Ms. Grossman has always loved poetry and began experimenting with it in middle school. Of her own work and literary interests, she says: 

“Reading is a big part of my life now. Between the courses I have already completed at FAU and the ones I am currently taking, I have dabbled with medieval literature, fairy tales, Dante and other epics, mythology, science fiction, traditional English lit critique, scientific/ research writing, and both hard news and feature/ freelance style story writing.”

Ms. Grossman plans to broaden her horizons further by looking at more genres and writing styles as her college career progresses. One day, she hopes to work for a prominent publishing house doing content editing on solicited manuscripts and working with authors. In the future, Ms. Grossman also aspires to work as a freelance writer, and would like to write her own books in the realm of fiction and quantitative study.

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