“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Stellaaa! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear! It’s your grandma! Call me back when you get this message. I want to know what time we’re going out for dinner tonight!”

“Birthday girl! Happy birthday, sweetheart! Your dad loves you and I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

“Hey biiitch! I’m just kidding! Happy birthday my beautiful daughter! Love you and can’t wait to see you tonight!”

“Stella, it’s Mr. Wallace. Don’t forget to bring in those hard copies of the files I asked you to print out yesterday. Thanks.”

“Hey, love. Happy birthday. I know you have work today, but I promise today is going to be unforgettable. I promise. Try and give me a call when you can. If not, I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, girl! Thought I’d surprise you and stop by the office to take you out for lunch! Come on down! Your receptionist won’t let me in!”

“Hellooo? Are you here? They’re trying to buzz you down!”

“Where are you? Your receptionist sucks. She didn’t even realize you weren’t here. I’m so embarrassed, your hot boss had to come down and tell me you got to be playing hookie today. Are you with Ben? I want to meet up and take you to your favorite place, even if your boy-toy has to tag along! Call me back and tell me where you are so I can pick you up and spoil you!”

“Hey, love. I’m here.”

“Stella, this is Mr. Wallace. Your friend stopped by to take you to lunch when we realized you hadn’t come to work today. Could you at least swing by and drop off those files I’ve been asking for? Call me back.”

“Hey, bestie! What time is your party to—oh, shit. You weren’t supposed to know about that! I’m sorry! Don’t tell your mom, she’ll kill me!”

“Hey, Kristina told me she slipped the big surprise. I promise I won’t kill her, but, well, surprise! Come on over! We’re all here ready to par-tay! Your grandma started hitting the booze! Get your cute butt over here before she drinks it all!”

“Hey! Just calling to say I’m on my way to the house. Call me and tell me when you’re close.”

“Birthday girl! We’re waiting for you at the house! Did you get held up at work? Give us a call and tell us what’s going on.”

“Stella, this is your grandma. We have a party happening here for you! Call us and tell us when you’re getting here!”

“Hey, Kristina said you didn’t go to work today? Where are you? Give us a call.”

“Stella? It’s been three hours. We’re starting to get worried. Give us a call when you can.”

“Stella, we’re going to your apartment to see if you’re there. Call me when you get this. We need to know what’s going on.”

“Stella, where are you? You’re parents are freaking out! Call them!”

“Stella, it’s Kristina. If this is some sort of sick birthday prank you’re trying to pull on us, stop! Call us!”

“Where are you!?”

“Pick up your fucking phone!”

“Stella, answer right now! We’re calling the police!”

“Stella you open this door right now! We’re here! We’re calling your landlord to let us in!”

“Is Ben with you? Where are you!?”

“Stella, we’re at your apartment! Where ar—Oh my God! Oh—Oh my God! No!

“Hello, love. I told you today was going to be unforgettable.”



Edited by Sabrina Loftus


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