She has perfected the art of first dates
Which is to say: she rarely gets asked on second ones.
She is completely okay with this, she’s not ready for more anyway.
They go out for coffee, dinner, a movie
The destination does not matter;
The dates are always the same.
Wherever they go, she looks for him.
It never starts off this way
But she does not know how to control his ghost.
She wants to tell them why.
Why she flinches when all they want is to hold her hand,
Why there are always tears when they try to kiss her goodnight.
She wants to tell them “Don’t bother trying.”
Their “love” has left her a sunken shipwreck;
Left her wounded, riddled with scars.
Her bruises have healed, but she still feels the phantom pain.
She wants to tell them to save their efforts,
To save her the effort.
She’s already learned to build entire cities in the walls around her heart
That will go to war for her if the gates of citadel are ever breached,
Even though she is still far too damaged to fight another battle.
So when I say she has perfected the art of first dates,
I mean she rarely gets asked on second ones.
She likes it this way, she’s not ready for more anyhow.
Edited by Sabrina Loftus