There is a lump lodged in my throat,
Even the reach of your tongue can’t remove,
As you begin unbuttoning
My shirt and working your hands on my flesh.
The darkness consumes our bodies;
I can only see the whites of your eyes.
The shadows casted on your face,
Make me wonder if it’s still really you.
I try to remember your smile,
Your clever and romantic late night texts,
And the way you look at me, like
You are painting my portrait in your head.
Really, I try to remember
Anything, but nothing comes to my mind.
All I can picture is this blur,
This frightening whirlwind of emotions.
My diaphragm screams silently
Under the weight of your body as it
Suffocates me, but your lungs are
Musty bellows filling me with false hope.
Does it not seem like we’re rushing?
I can count the dates on both of my hands.
That doesn’t bother you one bit,
But I’m nowhere near as advanced as you.
I know there have been other girls,
Despite you saying I’m the only one.
Deep down, I know there’ll be more, but
In this moment, I have you to myself.
You whisper empty words of hot
Breath into my ear, as I squeeze my eyes
Shut and hope for this unknown best;
I start to mimic instead of resist.
And I know I shouldn’t complain,
And I know it was me who said the words
I love you first. And I still do,
So I swallow this lump and carry through.
Edited by: Sabrina Loftus