I long to feel accepted,

beautiful, popular,

like I matter to the world.

 

The red dress from my youth

will accomplish just that.

I am someone who is Someone

when I wear my red dress.

 

Svelte.

Stunning.

SENSATIONAL.

 

I look in the mirror.

I hear their voices.

The game show audience.

Incessantly mocking.

 

Fatty!

You are…

 

Repugnant.

Revolting.

REPULSIVE.

 

They won’t stop laughing.

I can’t go on television

looking like this.

 

My hopes, my dreams.

Just one little game show.

 

No one understands me.

Nobody accepts me.

Except the pills.

 

They are my friends.

They want me to fit

into my stunning red dress.

 

One in the morning.

Two at night.

Doctor’s orders.

Two in the morning.

Three at night.

More is better.

 

Four today.

One more won’t

hurt me.

Time moves

     sl

       ow

           ly

burstofenergytimemovesquicklyfeellikeicanconquertheworld!

 

Four is the magic number.

 

Pills wear off.

So, so hungry.

Ignore it.

IGNORE IT.

 

The refrigerator won’t shut up.

Snapping its jaws,

and shoving in my face,

what it knows I can’t have.

 

Food?

Or the red dress?

The answer is obvious.

The pills tell me so.

 

Five more tonight.

Four was amazing.

But five will do the trick.

 

I’m losing weight!

The pounds are melting away

like an ice cream cone

being licked by the red-hot flames

of a fire.

 

I’m closer than ever

to my spectacular red dress.

 

My hunger consumes me

like I consume my pills.

But I ignore it

and take six more.

 

magic are pills

dress red

into fit

popuful beautilar

accept finally they me

do
Edited By Renee Luna

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